Criteria

slightly deranged

The criteria weren’t broad enough for him to be included.

.

Wary Mary

wary mary

Wary Mary

Quite contrary

How does your dating go?

With not much luck

Keep gettin’ stood up

It’s just a load of woe.

One Less

 

one idiot less

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She’s an old fashioned disciplinarian who can’t be doing with mouthy gits.

 

Soft Spot

 

beer

 

I often seen him down The Dog & Duck where he’s wont to cheat at darts and neck back unattended pints of beer. I  walk back home with him time to time as we live in the same part of town though I’ve never invited him in for a coffee. I’ve a soft spot for him but I don’t want fleas in my flat.

 

Nice Shot

dog in a jumper

 

 

 

Spring’s in the air and he feels like a pup again; he’s loosened his collar an extra notch, pissed on a few posts more on his morning walk and flicked a flea onto the neighbour’s whining cat. Nice shot.

Soon Be Over

Bloke In A Green Jacket

 

Marvin‘s Christmas present to himself is to boycott Christmas.

Ahhhh the peace.

Mmm…Except for the neighbour’s illuminated Santa hanging from the drain pipe and flashing Christmas lights keeping him awake.

Oh well. Soon be over.

Shopaholic High

The world is going to end in a couple of weeks, or so some believe, so best hide in the mountains to survive the prophesied flood or meteor collision. Or why not spend two weeks drunk, stuffing your face with your favourite cakes, or your preferred food of choice?

yellow benchJasmine doesn’t need no end of world hype to realise the human race is in nose dive, what with scientific advancement bringing mass destruction that much closer. But hey we can have boob jobs and inject Botox, become cartoon clones, self obsessed and swallowing whole the mass media’s drone drone drone.

Jasmine has switched off her phone, her computer, instead walks down the precinct watching the world: the masses making their way home weighed down with Christmas purchases they queued for in claustrophobic shops, stressed to the bone.

At least if the world ends they’ll go out on a shopaholic high, crammed in the supermarket aisle, trolley heaped high, texting as they walk.

Then BAM! The world is no more.